Mens Work
I've been doing a lot of internal work lately especially around Masculinity.
Growing up without a father has its difficulties when you are you younger but as an adult its daily that they pop up.
Things that men who grew up with fathers would just take for granted.
Now ofcourse this is stereotypical as women are just as capable of doing roles men can do but their natural tendency is generally towards nurturing activities like making delicious nutritious food for the family, growing up as an only child this is one of the reasons I am an epic cook.
Finding my feet as a man has been challenging over the last couple of years.
My income dropped a little and this had never really affected me before as I understood waves in business however this time I felt overwhelmed.
It wasn't so much the dropping of the business it was the timing.
I had just committed to full time study the land was screaming to me for work to be done.
You know when you work really hard and your ready to slow down the pace a little bit and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Well the shit show in the world didn't give me that opportunity it got ripped little by little.
I was ready to just be comfortable for a while but now I was faced with three overwhelming tasks. My study, the land and my business plus just throw in life, border closures, restrictions and constant propaganda. If it was just two it would have been fine I had the capacity to do them and everything else but the third just threw me into a tail spin.
To top it off the goat fencing I bought didn't keep the goats in, the older car that I bought so I could learn more about cars (so I could be more manly) had loads of issues and the cost of everything skyrocketing.
I felt like a complete failure and out of integrity as a man. I was failing at everything I was doing, I hadn't accomplished anything and my money was not where I needed it to be.
Whilst yeah in this day and age as men we talk a little to other men when we are down, I still think we hold back.
Its embarrassing to say I feel like I am failing on every front and the overwhelm has made me freeze. I'm tired, I am exhausted, I am in constant worry. I don't feel worthy as a Man.
How do you say I don't know how to be a man as I didn't have a dad and trying to figure this shit out is killing me.
But I reckon we need to open up this dialogue more so if I know any men out there who want to chat or even just breakdown I am here to hold you.
I truly feel for the men who lost it all, as I am actually one of the lucky ones, I especially take my hat off to the men who stayed in their integrity with their core values, simply going and getting another job for many was not even an option as no one would hire them.
For the men who did lose it all, you are still a great man your worth is not defined by how much money you make and by what you are accomplishing right now.
I like to put it in war terminology. Many battles are lost, sometimes you are close to death you have been through something that has broken you, however little by little you put your self back together, you cry, you nurture yourself, you be in solitude but then when the time is right you go back into battle and you continue to until the job is done.
Right now its challenging for men the media is blasting us, financial situations are affecting us, we feel like we are fighting a losing battle, everything the dark forces are throwing everything at as to try to break our spirit but they will not win.
The Men of Earth are incredible our hearts will shine and we will win
Creating Radically Healthy Humans
Nicholas FairbairnCHEK Practitioner - Functional Health Coach